Hudson Valley Parent

HVP December 2019

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Page 30 of 43 n Hudson Valley Parent 31 from friends, plus her family's schol- arship from Kelly's Music Corner in Middletown. "We struggle," Lane said. "We do couponing and have support from the family, as well." Keep organized. With so many kids moving around, Asp wished she knew how chaotic life would be once she had triplets. Staying organized has been key, which she learned from attending to the varied needs of her eldest, Tyler Damo, 27, who has autism and lives with the family. "I have a binder for each one of my children," she said. "In the front are their medical papers. I have all their schoolwork of the year." Asp also prints weekly to-do lists for herself and husband and posts a weekly calendar for the kids to show them what's coming up. Bins and cubbies hold the kids' gear and Asp stocks her car with essentials, like snacks, coloring books and crayons, portable chairs and soccer gear. "You have to be prepared," she said. "Even at doctors' appointments, you have to go in with a bag." Lane has relied on a schedule to keep her household in order since her kids were babies. "We are very routine," she said, including times for naps, The Asp family enjoys traveling together, including this trip to Maine. From the left, in back, are Tyler Damo, Peter, and Alexis. In front, from the left, are triplets, 5, Connor, Madelyn and Annabelle, plus Hudson, 7 . tooth-brushing, bed and medicine. "Everyday at noon they nap. We just stuck with it." Devine manages her family's days by setting priorities, making lists and letting the rest go. "My family joked that my tomb- stone would be made of lists," she said. "I had constant lists on scraps." Still, she said, moms need to give themselves a break because every- thing isn't going to get done. "If everyone's alive at the end of the day, you're good," she said. She also focuses on her family's needs, like when her twins began kindergarten. They tired early, so she served them a 4 p.m. dinner, gave then a bath and if they were sleepy, put them to bed. "We did it for about six months," she said. "It worked until they be- came acclimated." READ MORE: Schedule strategies Manage kid comparisons and key relationships. Lane sees her children separately, but also enjoys time with all of them. "I will take them one at a time to the store for one-on-one time with them," she said, adding that Dillion, plays with anyone, while the girls have a strong bond with each other. Because Asp's girls have similar interests and are at the same level, she's tended to group them together. "It's incredibly tough, but you have to (treat them as individuals) because all your kids are different. Madelyn is artistic. Annabelle can run a mile. Timewise it's hard to fit in. Soon they're going to want to do their own things. But it's tough." Devine hasn't had an issue com- paring her girls, who look alike, although their styles differ. Harder, is when others don't take the time see differences between them. "I have to tell the girls to let it go," she said. When she was struggling with new motherhood, diapers and crying babies, Devine wished she know how much fun her girls would be. "They get to be 2 or 3 and are telling you hilarious stories about Batman," she said. "They're super- funny. They're a united front and have amazing imaginations. They do the craziest things," like inventing a secret handshake with dance moves. "It's hilarious," Devine said. "It's the best." Karen Maserjian Shan is the edi- tor of Hudson Valley Parent. Custom-made cubbies for each child help keep the Asp family organized. The Lanes enjoy family outings in and around the Hudson Valley. From the left are Aubree, Sam, Dillon, Sophie and Meaghan, who holds Kevin bear, a teddy stand-in for Kevin who died at three-days old.

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