BECOMING A FAMILY
(Continued from Page 21)
public acknowledgement of our
family structure.
It takes time
For my particular role, it has
become increasingly clear that my
relationship to the children,
independent of Sharon, must be
given time and space to develop.
One way I have done this is to
explore areas of common interest
with the children, separate from
their mother. For example, Jacob
expressed an interest in watching
the Super Bowl. I also wanted to
watch the game and since Sharon
does not like football, Jacob and I
watched the game together. We
popped popcorn and talked football
all day long. We shared many
laughs and enjoyed spending time
together doing what we love.
Along those same lines, Sharon
and I reinforce my role with the
children through my participation
in certain daily events like reading
bedtime stories, not just when
Sharon is absent, but more
importantly, when she is present.
These actions send the message
that I am more than just a
substitute mom or babysitter.
A positive sign of our progress
occurred one night as Sharon and I
were cleaning the kitchen. Having
readied herself for bed, Mollie
approached me. "I need a hug," she
said. I sat down and she climbed
on my lap while Sharon looked on
with a smile.
Marcia Szymanski is a freelance
writer. She and her wife, Sharon,
spend summers in the Hudson Valley.
YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!
Tips for step-parent success
hvparent.com/step-mom
HVParent.com
Hudson Valley Parent
23
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