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hvparent.com n Hudson Valley Parent 27 communicate that your child's worth is not tied up in his performance, says Michelle P. Maidenberg, Ph.D., therapist and president of Westches- ter Group Works in Harrison. "I can tell you worked really hard on that painting!" is better than "What a good boy! This painting makes me so happy!" The Solo Artist If your child clams up or clings to the wall during team activities, solo pursuits may be more her style for now. Don't force team sports on a re- sistant child; instead, help her enjoy her interests and develop new ones in settings where she feels comfortable. Choose one-on-one or small-group lessons like art and music classes, or motor skills activities that emphasize individual skills instead of team skills, like swimming, gymnastics, martial arts, and tennis. Or buddy up; sign her up for a class with one close friend. Having a pal nearby might make an activity more enjoyable. A child who prefers individual activities won't necessarily miss out on social growth. Cooperation, sharing, and respect for others can be fostered through participation in semi-organized activities like library story times, says Karen L. Peterson, Ph.D., child development profes- sor at Washington State University Vancouver. The Dabbler Swimming? Absolutely! Skiing? Sounds great! Martial arts? Hi-yaaah! Enthusiastic kids jump into new activ- ities with gusto. But taking on too many activities at once can make it difficult to develop a strong commit- ment to any of them, says Hobson. Committing to an activity or a class — even for a short time — teaches responsibility and helps kids develop the competence that leads to satisfaction and self-esteem. If a child wants to bail on a team sport, it's an opportunity to talk about personal responsibility. "With team sports, it's not just about you, it's about other people," says Hob- son. He may decide that he doesn't like soccer or basketball, and that's fine — but he should continue to attend games and support the team. The Dodger When kids want to quit a favorite pastime or just can't seem to muster up enthusiasm about any activity, parents should try to uncover the source of the resistance. "Often, a Sound off on your favorite local enrichment program! Visit e-guide.hvparent.com to write a review! Review it! child doesn't want to participate in something if they don't feel confi- dent or capable," says Maidenberg. Have an open conversation to find out what's going on. A resistant child may be responding to an over-stim- ulating environment or a social con- flict rather than the activity itself. To see whether this is the case, take the pressure off by enjoying an activity outside of a class setting. Playing soccer at a local park or putting on a dance recital at home can help build confidence and willingness to try. Kids may need a couple of weeks to warm up to a new class, says Pio Andreotti, Psy.D., clinical supervisor of child psychology at Long Island College Hospital. "Allow the child to observe first and then slowly encour- age her to join when she feels ready." Malia Jacobson is a health jour- nalist and mom. :(/&20(61(:3$7,(17672 7+(,53(',$75,&'(3$570(17 Mount Kisco Medical Group MKMG is proud to have these physicians as part of their Pediatrics Department. SM Providing The Highest Quality Medical Care For You And Your Family Throughout Westchester, Putnam And Dutchess County For more information or to schedule an appointment please call FISHKILL: 845-765-4990 60 Merritt Boulevard Fishkill NY 12524-2990 POUGHKEEPSIE: 845-471-3111 Oakwood Commons, 2507 South Rd., Rte. 9 Poughkeepsie NY 12601-5465 Suzanne Cutler, MD Poughkeepsie Veena Gangasani, MD FAAP Fishkill William Parsons, MD FAAP Poughkeepsie pediatricians