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38 Hudson Valley Parent ■ April 2015 PA R T I E S / P R O F E S S I O N A L S E R V I C E S HUDSON VALLEY PARENT MARKETPLACE Depending on the causes of infer- tility, the use of donor eggs, sperm or embryos or a surrogate may be warranted. Some couples opt for adoption from the beginning, and others choose adoption after other treatments fail. If you're considering donors, surrogacy or adoption, consult a reproductive attorney for advice. Some infertile couples choose to live child-free, says Constance Shapiro, PhD, therapist and author of "When You're Not Expecting: An Infertility Survival Guide." They move past the grief they feel and commit to a life that doesn't include kids. The emotional journey from feeling childless to being child-free opens the door to other possibilities, but it isn't easy. Stresses of infertility Not long after "I Do," people start asking "When are you going to start a family?" Our society reinforces the idea that a family consists of two parents and their children and people internalize that model, Sha- piro says. When infertility threatens that ideal, it hurts. Treatment is stressful, too. Doctor's appointments are incon- venient, and fertility drugs can cause mood swings and weight gain. "Treatments are expensive, and many couples take out loans to finance baby-making," Ford says. Feedback throughout the process — about hormone levels, follicle development, and (you hope) pregnancy — is a double-edged sword. Each bit of bad news crushes you a little more. Seeing others have babies can magnify the disappointment couples feel. When friends show off their sonograms and ask for baby-nam- ing advice, you may feel angry and jealous. Infertility can be isolating, especially if it's a secret. To top it off, when you're strug- gling to get pregnant, sex isn't so sexy, Shapiro says. Treatments may require intercourse at specific times in the menstrual cycle and forbid it at other times. Couples may miss the intimate physical connection they once experienced. There is no easy way out of infer- tility. It's normal to feel an enor- mous loss when your dreams for the future don't come true. "Before infertility, I had never encountered a 'no' from the universe," says Ford. "All the big life events came easy. Infertility made me realize how much is out of my control." Now a mother of twins, Ford says she's learning that lesson over and over in parenting. Heidi Smith Luedtke is a personality psychologist and mother of two. She is the author of Detachment Parenting. INFERTILITY (Continued from Page 27) parties professional services 246 Main St., Cornwall, NY 12518 (845) 534-2980 alternativecounselingny.com Expanding Services include: HypnoFertility HypnoBirthing Holistic Approach to Counseling Find us on Facebook! CARE~A~LOT DROP-IN DAYCARE 914-522-5437 Servicing Wappingers Falls and surrounding areas • Flexible, convenient & affordable • Full-time, part-time & drop-in options • A fun, nurturing, learning environment • NY State licensed • CPR & First Aid certifi ed • Open from 6:30am to 6pm • Ages 3 months to 10 years • Before & After school programs • 10% Sibling Discount • Enrichment Programs included in curriculum AcornsToOaks.net Call Joey @ 845-781-3313 or 845-825-3867 (845) 897-1744 • Bounce House Rentals • Concession Equipment • Tables & Chairs • All Indoor Bounce House Fun! 982 Main Street, Fishkill NY 12524 www.jumpinjakes.com schools MyFamilyTripPlanner.com Call 845-562-3606 to place your classied ad Inside Sales Representative who is knowledgeable, independently motivated, wants to make a positive impact on her community Please e-mail your resume to Terrie Goldstein at sales@excitingread.com Consider a Career with Us! 174 South St., Newburgh, 845-562-3606