BECOMING A FAMILY
(Continued from Page 19)
So how can we become a family
without a name or definition for
our relationship?
Searching for a name
In a society that refuses to name
alternative family models, two
lesbians openly raising two children
face enormous pressures on the
journey of becoming family.
Undertaking this journey within a
homophobic society requires much
energy and commitment to the
process.
Eighteen months into our
relationship as a family, we finally
started to recognize the implications of our family structure within
the larger society. Now we actively
search for ways to name and claim
both our family and my role within
this family. Below are a few ways
we dealt with the difficult task of
becoming a family.
We are family
Using the popular song, "We are
Family," as our motto, Sharon and I
name ourselves as family and name
my role within our family whenever
opportunities arise.
Recently a new co-worker asked
me how many children I had. After
she over heard me speak about
Jacob. Before I could respond with
my usual "none," I paused. "Two," I
said. "Jacob and Mollie." Although
my response sounded somewhat
strange on one level, I felt
something inside shift as I claimed
my role as a parent.
To name ourselves and to claim
our roles is an important first step
in the process of becoming family.
This may sound simple to
traditional step-families who have
the privilege of legal ceremonies
and public sanctions to frame their
relationships. However, for lesbian
20
Hudson Valley Parent
August 2013
the nurtury montessori school of lagrange
the goddard school
