Hudson Valley Parent

HVP Dec 2014

Issue link:

Contents of this Issue


Page 5 of 41

6 Hudson Valley Parent ■ December 2014 I truly enjoy being a mom. But it wasn't always that way. I experienced postpartum depression with both of my babies, and I needed anti-depressants to get back on track each time. The fi rst time around, I was a nervous and fright- ened new mother who felt completely over- whelmed. In the hospital, she refused to latch and the nurses impatiently took her away to give her a bottle. That pretty much set the tone for my feelings of failure as a mother. I struggled with breastfeeding in the early days. I was sleep deprived. I cried often. I bickered with my husband. I loved my little baby with all of my heart, but I worried con- stantly about whether I was a good mom and what that even meant. When I returned to work after 3 months, I now felt terrible at my job because I was consumed by my baby, and felt terrible at being a mom because I was leaving my baby in someone else's care all day. I kept telling myself things would get better. I told myself once she was sleeping more, I'd feel happy again. Once I got into the routine of working, I'd feel happy again. There was always some milestone just around the corner that would make everything better and help me fi nd my rhythm. But that day never came. Meanwhile, I felt guilty and ashamed that I was not a happy mother who had mastered parent- hood. I kept this shame and hurt to myself for 15 months before I fi nally got the help I needed. With a doctor's care and the right medication, things instantly improved. I regained my ability to cope — with upsets, bro- ken dishes, meltdowns, everyday life. I was a new person, and my only regret was that it took me so long. When it came to my second baby, I recog- nized the signs right away and got help much faster. But I still felt guilty for needing anti-depressants to cope with motherhood. And I've met countless other moms who have kept their experience to themselves, as though needing and seeking help means you are some- how fl awed and inferior. I'm here to tell you that it's not shameful. Seeking help doesn't mean you're a failure, it means you are taking steps to make things better for the little people you love most in this world. We've invited four amazing mothers to share their very different experiences with de- pression after baby. I applaud their bravery, and I hope together we can break away from the stigma of postpartum depression. Tree-lightful! Finding the perfect tree is such a magical part of the season — from bringing it home, to trimming it, to fi nding presents underneath on Christmas morning. A big thank you to all of our readers who submitted photos of your children with their Christmas trees. You'll fi nd the best of the bunch on page 26, along with Hudson Valley Parent's top choices for tree farms in the Hudson Valley. Make sure to check out the com- plete list at Enjoy! Learning to cope KATY WEBER Editor's Journal Publisher TERRIE GOLDSTEIN Editor KATY WEBER Media Advisor KIMBERLY MAYER Executive Assistant to the Publisher BRITTANY L. MORGAN Community Liaison PAMELA PERRY Web Ad Designer LESLIE CORTES Layout & Design ENGLE PRINTING also publishers of MY family MY family baby The HUDSON VALLEY G U I D E Hudson Valley Parent is published monthly by: The Professional Image Marketing & Public Relations Inc. 174 South Street • Newburgh, NY 12550 Phone: 845-562-3606 • Fax: 845-562-3681 This publication is copyrighted by the publisher. Reproduction without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Hudson Valley Parent welcomes submissions, although we cannot accept responsibility for work submitted nor guarantee publication. A MEMBER OF

Articles in this issue

Links on this page

Archives of this issue

view archives of Hudson Valley Parent - HVP Dec 2014