Issue link: http://hvparent.uberflip.com/i/468715
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Hudson Valley Parent 11
concerns that lingered well after that
discussion. Like Wynkoop, her great-
est concern was how others would
treat her son. She says she concocted
every terrible scenario imaginable,
and was horrified to think, "There
will be people in his life that hate
him just because he is gay."
She says she cried, wondering,
"What kind of life is he going to
have?"
Tips for fellow parents
So what can parents do when
faced with this news? How should
they react when their vision of their
child's future suddenly changes?
How can they be supportive and at
the same time address their own
fears and concerns? Wynkoop and
De Muro offer these tips:
1. Take a breath
Wynkoop suggests waiting to say
something until you have had time
to process the information. "Some-
times the best reaction is to say, 'Let
me digest this.'"
She also points out that though
the teenager has thought about this
moment for a very long time, the
conversation is probably coming as a
surprise to the parent.
De Muro echoes this advice. She
says that when faced with this news,
parents should take the time to
process, keeping in mind that if your
child is coming to you with this in-
formation, that child is putting his or
her trust in you. "Don't react. Act."
2. Allow yourself to be human
The surprise and shock parents
feel upon learning that their child is
gay is understandable.
"We have to give ourselves a
break," Wynkoop says. "Even as a
well-educated and aware parent, we
tend to go with what society says is
normal."
It is okay to express fear, says De
Muro, and if you don't know quite
what to do for your child, that's
okay, too. "Ask your child questions;
let them tell you what they need."
(Continued on Page 12)
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