Hudson Valley Parent

HVP June 2015

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Page 24 of 51 ■ Hudson Valley Parent 25 Dads don't fret Women often wish men would listen to our problems without trying to solve them, but that's not how men are wired. When things go wrong, dads jump into problem-solving mode and determine what steps they can take to change the situation. If the first attempt isn't successful, dads try another approach. Women are more likely to focus on feelings, which can actually amplify distress. We may commiserate with girlfriends or replay worst-case sce- narios in our minds. C. Lee Reed recalls her father often told his kids to "suck it up" in the face of disappointment. "It sounds crazy but we learned to put on our big girl panties when things didn't go our way," Reed says. Now she uses the same phrase with her own daughter. It lightens the mood when emotions run high. Dads are present Moms take pride in our super-hu- man ability to do five things at once, but there is an undeniable downside. Multitasking prevents us from seizing the joys of the present moment. Lauren Nichols praises her hus- band's ability to be in the moment with their 4-year-old son. "I admire his ability to slow down and listen to everything our son has to say. It is as if he really remembers what it was like to be a little kid. They are two peas in a pod." Reed says she is inspired by her husband's presence as well. "When he spends time with our daughter, he's not worried about the laundry or paying the bills. He is all there," Reed says. Tuning in completely allows dads to see children as growing, loving lit- tle people. And it reminds us all that we're blessed by our children — and their dads — in big and small ways every day. Heidi Smith Luedtke, Ph.D., is a freelance writer and personality psychologist. Register Now for Summer Gymnastics Camp! June 29-September 4 We focus on developing self-esteem and confi dence through gymnastics training 657 Sheafe Rd., Poughkeepsie 845-463-5885 • We Offer: Gymnastics, Cheerleading, • Fencing, Parties, and More Half and Full Day Options • Early Drop-off and Late Pick-up •

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