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Hudson Valley Parent 19
you're taking care of is under that
same roof.
One day in 2013, her father-in-
law began having hallucinations and
diffi culty with simple tasks. Eventu-
ally he was diagnosed with a form of
dementia, which she describes as
part Alzheimer's and part Parkinson's
disease.
Because of the nature of his
diagnosis and his forethought to
purchase long term care insurance,
the family was able to place him in
a care facility in Greenwich, Con-
necticut. Her husband is an only
child and often drives to Greenwich
after work. "He doesn't come home
until our son is asleep. It's diffi cult to
balance," said Vicinanza.
Isabel Dichiara of Poughkeepsie
agrees that it is diffi cult to balance
everyone's needs in a multi-genera-
tional home. She lives with her three
young children, her husband and his
mother. Although her mother-in-law
is relatively independent, she says
the dynamic in the home is
complicated.
"It's a balance between doing
what's best for your child and doing
what's best for everyone in the
household," she says. "Those two
concepts do not always match."
This is not the fi rst time Dichiara
has been involved in caring for an
older relative. She helped her own
mother care for her grandmother
until she passed away in 2001. "It
was exceedingly stressful on both
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(Continued on Page 20)
"It's a balance
between doing what's
best for your child
and doing what's best
for everyone in the
household"
ISABEL DICHIARA
