Hudson Valley Parent

HVP January 2017

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Page 20 of 35 n Hudson Valley Parent 21 earning stars on a chart (signifying parental approval) to earning a small toy or an extra half hour of a TV program. And a time-out itself, if you choose to use it, should be custom fit to each child depending on what helps her the most. "The purpose of time-out is to reduce negative, bad, or destructive behavior by removing [your child] from your attention," Dr. Dryer says. "The goal is not to scare or shame or make them miserable." She says the time-out should be fair (the punishment fits the crime), firm (the adult needs clearly to state what consequence will happen when a particular behavior occurs), and friendly (express your love for your child even when you dislike the behavior). Cool, calm & collected And when it comes to you as a parent, all three psychologists agree: It is crucial that parents stay calm when dealing with a misbehaving child and regularly carve out time to take care of themselves. "It's really important for parents to notice their tone of voice," Dr. Ulrich says. "If they're expressing tension through their voice, that's a sign that they themselves are feeling out of control." When that happens - and it will - parental time-outs are key, she says. Taking a deep breath and a moment to center yourself can calm you down and remind you of the person you want to be. It's also crucial to take time for yourself when you can. "Whether you take 10 minutes to listen to music, or longer to read a book, talk to friends, go out with a partner, or exercise, self-care is es- sential for being the best parent you can be," Dr. Ulrich says. Elora Tocci is a freelance writer born and raised in Newburgh. She is a public affairs associate at Citizens' Committee for Children in New York City. Monday 5-7PM Happy Meal Discounts Family Fun Night 973-293-3671 13 State Rt. 23 #4 Montague Township, NJ Wednesday 5-7PM Face Painting Free Ice Cream Treat 845-562-2327 65 N. Plank Road Newburgh, NY Wednesday 5-7PM Happy Meal Discounts Ice Cream, Crafts And Kid's Videos 845-446-4935 104 West Point Hwy. Highland Falls, NY Tuesday 5-7PM Happy Meal Discounts 845-229-3107 58 Sullivan Ave. Liberty, NY Tuesday 5-7PM Happy Meal Discounts Free Ice Cream Treat 845-562-2327 Rte. 32; 5 Corners Vails Gate, NY Tuesday 5-7PM Happy Meal Discounts 845-457-9581 2083 State Hwy. Rt. 208 S. Montgomery, NY

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