Hudson Valley Parent

HVP February 2017

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Page 22 of 39 n Hudson Valley Parent 23 Preschool through Eighth Grade Traditional learning in an innovative environment 415 Route 343, Millbrook, NY 12545 845.677.5014 ■ WHERE YOUNG MINDS GROW SEE WHAT'S NEW AT DUTHCESS DAY SCHOOL… ■ Renovated performing arts center, library and classrooms ■ Merit scholarship for a rising 6th or 7th grader Tour our preschool today! • Fun, safe environment • Small group attention • Focus on creative learning skills 845-691-8599 Highland Village Nursery 44 years of educating our kids • Open House Sat., March 11 • 10am-12pm Wed., March 15 • 6-8pm home. Mr. Roberts attributes this to the language of equis. It is the non-verbal communication horses use to communicate with each other. By observing the non-verbal com- munication of horses, Mr. Roberts learned it over time and applied it to communicate with horses in their "language." By learning horses' lan- guage and behaviors, a human can interact with a horse in a way that invites partnership instead of sub- mission to control and domination. Parent and teen cultural communi- cation is like that! When parents and teens understand the motivations of each and communicate in a way that is understood by both, positive things can happen. By tuning into one another, meet- ing the horse with its own language (non-verbal communication and behaviors) a human can literally co-create a relationship with anoth- er species. Ask any teen or tween if their parents are alien to them and at some point during their adoles- cence they will likely agree. Focus- ing on communication, we can learn something about the importance of actively, co-creating a relation- ship from the example of the horse whisperer that can be applied to the parent-teen relationship. The keys to co-creating a satis- fying relationship and closing the generation gap between teens and parents are mutual respect and tuning into each other's communi- cation style. Relating to each other becomes less about directing and correcting behavior and more about uniting together to solve problems. When teens and parents negotiate their relationship in a way that hon- ors the importance of both of their roles and share responsibility for a positive relationship, they feel better and enjoy each other. Laura Lyles Reagan, MS is a family sociologist, teen-parent re- lationship coach and author of the upcoming book, How to Raise Re- spectful Parents. She can be reached for comment or questions at laura@

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