Hudson Valley Parent

HVP March 2020

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Page 20 of 35 n Hudson Valley Parent 21 By MARTIN BUTCHER, ESQ. A divorce can be a period of profound upheaval for all involved, but particularly for children. Staying together solely for the children, however, can be equally damaging. Help your children get through this stressful period with these tips. Talk with them about why you and your spouse decided to separate and let them know that you are not separating from your roles as mom or dad. Remember, above all, that you and your ex-spouse are the parents and they are the children. Continue the rules and discipline that existed before the separation in both households as much as possible, so the children know what is expected of them. Recognize that your children may feel conflicted. Even though you no longer love your ex-spouse, your children should not be made to feel like they need to choose a side. Do your best to make transitions fuss-free. Allow your child to bring a favorite toy or game to the other parent's house if he or she asks, and give serious consideration to the benefit to your child of having both parents living close to one another. Offer your kids support and seek it out for yourself. A counselor could help your children work through their emotions. Find a counselor, support group or circle of friends to vent your frustrations about your ex-spouse, so you can keep that away from the children. Children are more resilient than they appear and will cope with a divorce if given the support, guidance, and reassurance they need to feel comfortable and stable, Martin Butcher, Esq. is a senior counsel at the law firm of Jacobowitz and Gubits, LLP in Orange County, HV PARENT SPECIAL SECTION LAWGUIDE.HVPARENT.COM Minimize the stress of separation Follow tips to ease the impact of divorce on your kids

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