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26 Hudson Valley Parent ■ April 2015 By HEIDI SMITH LUEDTKE I f your baby-making dreams have become a nightmare, you aren't alone. Infertility affects 7.3 million American women. And more than half of them have successfully given birth to one or more children. Secondary infertility happens when a couple cannot conceive a second (or third) child despite previous pregnancy. In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week on April 19-25, we look at some of the common causes and treatments of infertility. When the universe says 'no' Experts discuss common struggles with infertility When a friend is struggling: What NOT to say These phrases may sound sympathetic, but they're likely to do more harm than good, says licensed clinical psychologist Robin Goodman, PhD. If you know someone who is struggling with infertility, don't say: • "I know how you feel" – Everyone is di erent. Even if you did go through something similar, nd out how they feel. • "It's for the best" – This is not comforting even if you think it is true. Your friend is grieving for the future she imagined for her family. • "At least you have each other" – This may be true. But a partner — or a pet or a job — can't replace a child. • "You can always adopt" – Some couples desperately want to have their own biological children. • "The baby would probably not have survived" – Even in cases of early miscarriage, your friend may feel overwhelming loss. Don't minimize it.